June 27th 2012. That Day.

It was a Wednesday.
It was a lazy day.
It was a sunny, warm, beautiful day.
It was a good day.

All of the sudden,
It was THAT day.

My best friend and I sat down for some lunch to eat the best salad I have ever tasted to this day. Jenna was crawling around on the floor and we were just laughing, sippin coffee and doing nothing. When all of the sudden we hear a knock at the door. Confused she went to answer it, It was Cory. She looked at me and said, "Jas, It's Cory. What do you want me to do?" The previous night we had gotten into a fight and I told him to give me a couple of days to cool off, so he was the last person I expected. He refused to go away and insisted that I talk to him. So I did.. We stepped outside of the second floor apartment I was living in.

I started out with, "Cory, after last night you know I need a couple of days to think about this, about us, about everything we talked about yesterday." He continued by saying, "Jasmine, I just need you to listen for a minute, please?" So I nodded, saying yes. Of course I would give him my time! (The decision I was trying to make from the previous day was whether or not I was ready to get back together with him.. I had already decided yes. But he didn't know.) He continued by saying, "Jasmine, no matter what happens between us just know that I love you. I have loved you since the moment I set eyes on you and nothing will ever change that. I have made so many mistakes, but you and Jenna are not on that long list. I need you to remember me and know me for who I was at my best, you knew me the very best. Please don't ever let Jenna forget who I was or how much I loved her. Always, Always know that I am with you and will be there for you. Anytime, anyplace." At that point I got concerned, I said Cory, "No, you're not making sense. Of course you will be with us.. Like where would you go? were broke." He responded, "Jasmine, I'm not going anywhere far. I'll always be here. Just don't worry and love Jenna." I started crying. I thought he was getting on his bike and traveling, going, needing space. He hugged me, kissed my forehead, nose and lips. Whispered, "Goodbye Jasmine" Then started to walk away. I yelled after him "Cory, can't we talk about this? Are you really just gonna walk away?"

Then he started down the stairs. As he was walking away he pulled the gun out from the back of his pants. I instantly thought 'oh, shit.' I ran inside and said, 'Chelsea, call the police. Cory just pulled out a gun and I don't know what he's going to do.' Her mom and I walked to the window. My heart was pounding as he lifted it to his chest. Then it happened. He collapsed. The bang wasn't nearly as loud as I thought it would have been. I kept on praying he would get back up I just should there in shock. That did not just happen. My husband, my baby girls father did not just shoot himself.

Before I realized what it all was, I was on the ground. Her mom shoved me down, yelling 'Jasmine. Do not get up. Do not look out this window. Crawl to the back bedroom and pack Jenna an overnight bag for your mothers house. Get your mom on the phone. But no matter what, do not go outside!' then she was gone. And Chelsea was out the door to get him. In such a state of shock, I did exactly what she said. Jenna and I crawled to the back room, and packed her a bag. Got my mom on the phone and panicked. Chelsea's mother took over from there. Then I proceeded by calling his sister, she also took that call for me. I couldn't explain what had just happened. Because to me, it didn't.

And yes. I looked out the window.. For a moment it gave me a relief and a flood of hope. But only for a brief, brief moment. As I looked out I saw Chelsea helping him up, hardly any blood. I thought, 'Oh, Thank God!! It just knicked him and he's okay.' But before I could finish that thought he was on the ground again. I instantly dropped back down to the ground regretting ever getting up to look. I wish I could truly explain the emotions that paralyzed me when I saw him...

It was a Wednesday
It was a Hectic, Crazy day
It was dark, gloomy, ugly day
It was a Terrible day.


I'm sorry readers. I've been working on this for over a week trying to bring it all out and I can't right now.. this is as far as I'm able to go. This is emotionally ripping me apart. I'll update the rest of the story when I can. Sorry. It's been a rough few weeks.